"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love."

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Short end of the STICK...

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m always THE ONE on the short end of the stick so to speak. I often feel like my all isn’t always good enough. It could just be me, but its something I’ve felt for quite awhile.
I mean why is it that I always pick the guy that’s into another female or even into men, has a dozen kids, lack ambition. I’ve heard the saying you are what you attract. But I honestly don’t think I possess any of those characteristics. For instance, this guy *Thomas and I kicked it for about a year or so on and off. At first, he was really into me; while I wasn’t really checking for him. We were hot and heavy for a couple of months and then I broke the news. I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time. He looked as If I had just ripped his heard out and fed it to the dogs. I felt so bad, but I knew it was something I had to tell him. I guess honesty isn’t always the best policy. So after breaking the news he and I sort of went our separate ways. He called sometimes to check on me, and expressed his love for me. I felt bad because I couldn’t tell him those words, although I wanted to. It just wasn’t in my heart.

*Name Change

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