Short end of the STICK...

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m always THE ONE on the short end of the stick so to speak. I often feel like my all isn’t always good enough. It could just be me, but its something I’ve felt for quite awhile.
I mean why is it that I always pick the guy that’s into another female or even into men, has a dozen kids, lack ambition. I’ve heard the saying you are what you attract. But I honestly don’t think I possess any of those characteristics. For instance, this guy *Thomas and I kicked it for about a year or so on and off. At first, he was really into me; while I wasn’t really checking for him. We were hot and heavy for a couple of months and then I broke the news. I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time. He looked as If I had just ripped his heard out and fed it to the dogs. I felt so bad, but I knew it was something I had to tell him. I guess honesty isn’t always the best policy. So after breaking the news he and I sort of went our separate ways. He called sometimes to check on me, and expressed his love for me. I felt bad because I couldn’t tell him those words, although I wanted to. It just wasn’t in my heart.

*Name Change

New Start....

Starting new or over is something that I often do. Whether its in my personal life, in school or just in life in general. I find that its very important to do when things just seem to get old. Now I'm in a place where I wanna just press the REFRESH button on this page of my life. Although, easier said than done I feel I need to this for me. As far as my personal life I've been "dating" this guy for almost two years. I use quotations, because we really aren't dating. It's convenient and we know each other yet he isn't "ready" to commit. I know he isn't the guy for me, but it seems its almost easier to just to be strung along than to venture into the dating scene. Recently, I've realized that I MUST move on. Its true guys tell you the answers to the questions you have, but only if you listen. So basically he's been telling me for 1 1/2 to 2 years that he didn't want a relationship. I was just to silly and blind to get the picture.
So now I'm making the steps to REFRESH mentally, physically and spiritually. Although I know it won't be easy, its well worth it! So I'm no longer running from the upcoming challenges I'll face. Instead, I will welcome them with open arms!

Live.Love.Laugh